I am closing down this blog. It has served it’s purpose. I am opening up a new one. I will post it here soon.
I have realized that whenever I am on a date, men are trying to stratch under what I am talking about whether it be life, my relationships or something else to find some fault underneath. Here are the assumptions men make when you tell them stuff about yourself.
If you tell men you have not dated in a long time,
-You are trying to tell him you have your standards
-He will tell you that maybe you have issues
If you tell men or signal them that you won’t sleep with them before you are serious with them
-You are trying to tell them that you are not an easy girl
-He will tell you that you are way too conservative
If you tell men that you go on multiple dates before you exclusively date someone
-You are trying to tell them that you are keeping your options open until something serious develops
-He will tell you indirectly that you are a slut
If you tell men that you have learned from your past relationships
-You are trying to tell them you are mature
-He will tell you that you have buggage you are carrying around
If you don’t tell men about your past relationships
-You are trying to tell them that what happened in the past is history
-He will tell you that you might be someone who has skeletons in your closet.
If you tell men that you like to learn or check on certain things about your dates
-You are trying to tell him that you make sure you are dating someone normal
-He will tell you are paranoid or neurotic.
If you tell men that you have more male friends than female friends
-You are trying to tell him that you get along with men
-He will tell you that you are jealous of other girls.
So my advice to women, on your next date, don’t say anything and grin like a little bimbo. Alternatively, swing your head from side to side and say OMG, giggle, giggle, “I broke my nail” and other useless stuff. No need to say anything cause he is going to get you wrong anyways.
Shabbat Shalom
I got a letter in my mailbox that I am invited to vote for the next year’s community board. I wasn’t going to vote like always until I checked to ballot list and saw the face of someone I highly dislike.
About three years ago, I had a profile on J-Date. A man from the local area, contacted me and asked me to write to him. So I did. After emailing for many weeks, he stopped emailing me. I however knew who he was, it was a young man who is in the daily minyan. So I never asked him, neither online or offline why he stopped emailing me.
After this event, I kept seeing him going into shops during Shabbat with a non-Jewish girl. He saw that I saw him, and he turned his head around and ignored me.
On and off, I still logged onto J-Date. Although he had a serious relationship to this non-Jewish girl by that time, he still had a J-Date profile and was looking for “single Jewish girls”.
Everytime he saw me, he would act like he did not want to see me. He would turn his head the other way, or cross to other side of the street so we would not be on the same sidewalk. It was not that he was so frum or anything, but he acted like a jerk. I wondered, why?
After a while, his attitude angered me. He could have simply ignored me but he acted like something wrong took place between me and him.
So forward back to now, I saw his name and his photo on the ballot list.
I thought, pay back time.
I dressed up very pretty and went to the community center to vote.
I was greeted by all the candidates, except him. He gave me a blank look.
I am not sure what he was thinking but maybe he thought I could not vote for these elections.
I had the volunteers check my ID and identify me, and I went to the back and I voted.
I voted for all the Jewish board members who did a lot for our Jewish community. And to the clowns like him, well there are a couple of them, I did not give them my vote.
As I was leaving, all the candidates waved me goodbye. He gave me another blank look.
I winked at one of the candidates who is a young lawyer and left the community center.
signed,
Harhar 
Ever since I was small I was a rebel. I do not and do not want to accept some things we have to accept as normal.
Take for instance that the fact women are brainwashed to wait and commit to long term relationship. According to scientific studies, humans are not supposed to be monogamous. We have been brainwashed by our religious beliefs and the society that monogamy is a norm. It is however not the norm for us and the animal kingdom.
I could never accept and understand why men could date and do everything they want with women, while women have to sit and wait and be nice girls until they meet the one. Now I am not saying, and go out and act like men. However I have always dated multiple men unless the person who I was dating signalled that we were exclusive.
I have a new commentator who posted his thoughts about my last post. I thank him for his thoughts. However I want to tell him and my readers that, although I am a woman who cares a lot about niceness and character, men do not believe in my values cause it’s not the norm. Most women are gold-diggers and women who value other things. No matter how I express that I have genuine interest in a guy’s niceness and character, men do not really believe me. They are like…….yeah baby I am driving a Porsche you like that? Women love that don’t they (I am rolling my eyes) or……I have a house at the Hamptons… (whatever)
I sat at a cafe last Sunday and while having some hot chocolate, I watched all the single men and women who were seated. It seemed that men were busy reading newspapers, writing up something. They were focused on what they were doing, and they were using their time wisely, What were women doing? Staring at the men. Men are busy with their lives, women are busy figuring out why men do what they do. I go to the local supermarket and all I hear when I walk by a woman, is she complaining to her best friend on the phone, “Yeah he said this and that and he did not call or he did not come, what did he mean by that?!?!” I am thinking well duh.
Whenever I go to some local event, like at the Jewish community, women are all over the men like panthers. I am a bit shy and it does take some time until I can say something to a guy, and I am usually interrupted by some other female who simply cuts off our conversation and starts interrogating the guys I am talking to. The questions I ask would be along the lines ”So how do you like your job, do you enjoy doing this kind of research etc, what do you think about (insert some topic in his field) , and suddenly some woman jumps in the middle and she is like “what’s your occupation, where do you live, are you single, are you divorced, how much do you earn, are you here for a long time”. I feel like I am in a freaking war zone. Sometimes women start insulting me to get the guy’s attention. They are like……”oh you work in that field? People in that field are dumb etc” I end up rolling my eyes and thinking, omg, another desperado trying to get this guy’s attention.
Sometimes few men or ugly men come to cultural events and the women there act so nasty. It’s like they come there to hunt men and not for the cultural event. Or the majority are ugly men and there are few nice guys and suddenly it’s a war zone again. When I mean ugly, I am not merely referring their looks but their manners too.
Then there is the dumb talk from women at these events. “So what’s going to happen to Carrie at the end of the Sex and the City”. Do I care? Or…….so is Britney going to get married? Or ……I borrow lots of clothes from my sister and I like that, I have tons of clothes to wear blah blah…….. giggle giggle……. And me in the corner….not responding to any of this talk, simply puffing my cheeks out of boredom. Get me out here!
I ended up deciding that I am never attending another event where women are existent. I am so sick and tired of stupid talk and guerilla warfare for no reason. I am leaving the desperate and aggressive women to continue their ways at these events.
Next couple of weeks I will be hanging out with men playing and watching sports. I am sure at the very least I will have some sane conversation without dumb women talk.
signed,
Out of this world
Thank you to all those who took the time to come up with answers for my burning question.
I came to the conclusion that I attract such men cause I am more good looking than the average girls and like Sarah said men think that they might have a chance with me.
I have sort of stepped out of myself to observe my actions and the men around me. I have realized that I am too one of those women who spends time expecting a man to change. Let’s say the man I meet who has a flaw, just like many women, I am hoping and wishing that he will change so we can be together. This of course is a pure waste of time. If a man says he is not ready to get married, he actually means he is not ready to get married to YOU.
I also realized that since I focus on so much on manipulative men, I tend to attract them. Men are simple creatures, and manipulative men are actually not the majority but the minority. Now this might sound weird, but I calculated the number of manipulative men according to probability analysis. I am not going to disclose how I did that lol but the amount of manipulative and cheating portion of men only make up 1.4-2% of any sample population.
Yesterday I joined some people for some Mahjong. It’s a Chinese board game. One girl who was playing there was a Chinese girl and there was a non-Jewish German man who is in love with her and that head over heels. He told us that he is working two jobs and this he is doing to start a family. And this guy is a blue collar worker. Now I know many white collar boys who have a one wonderful job and they are absolutely doing NOTHING to commit. This man really impressed me, as he is working hard day and night, just to start a family while the other guys who find every other reason not to commit. Like a good friend of mine always says, everything finds an excuse but love finds a way.
I am really curious about something. I know many intelligent people read my blog and maybe they can give their feedback on this.
Before I was frum I did not lead a tziniut life. After I became frum, I dressed tziniut and acted modest accordingly.
I still have the same problem.
I am a very pretty and attractive girl. I am intelligent and intellectual. I am very knowledgeable in many subjects.
However, men do not show enough interest to call me or date me seriously. I know over 200 single men through my work and my contacts. They do not call me, or ask me out, regardless if I have sex with them or not. Here is an example.
Late 2007 I met this shidduch. We hit it off well. We talked about everything. Well we talked about everything except sex of course. After four months, he disappeared on me. Six months later he called me to tell me that he stopped talking to me cause we never talked about sex. He said he really wants to know what kind of sex I like to share with my partner. He said this is extremely important for the shidduch. I was really angry at him that he disappeared on me so I answered his questions sarcastically and hung up. Of course I was not going to talk about having sex with him. He was a “frum shidduch”. He said he wanted to “get closer” to me.
So ladies and gentlemen please give me feedback. Men do not call me whether I have sex with them or not. So what’s the deal here? Fill me in.
I am now only interested in living my life the way I want. I don’t care about what he said she said, I think I put a lot of time and emotions into what other people want to expect from me. I am not interested in what people think about me and I do not care anymore.
I have taken the time out to delete, throw out and clean my life from anything that I don’t think is necessary in my life. It might be a narcisstic phase, but at least it’s not wasted time on investing time and emotions into things that really don’t matter.
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